Grooming

(An instant-messaging conversation)

What's the deal with Yasmin and Malakai?

What do you mean? They're friends.

No, I know that, it's just that they're always hanging out.

And why is that weird?

Well, because Yasmin is going out with Abimelech, but the only time she spends any time with Malakai is when Abimelech is not around.

He's grooming her.

Who's grooming her?

Malakai. Malakai is grooming Yasmin.

What the hell does that mean?

It means what it means.

"Grooming," what does "grooming" mean?

It means he's getting her ready in case she breaks up with Abimelech.

Getting her ready? You mean like he's trying to steal her or something?

No, it's a lot more passive than that. He's simply getting her on his side. Playing it real safe and making sure she feels comfortable talking to him.

Isn't that kind of insidious, I mean, plotting like that when Yasmin and Abimelech are an item?

I don't think so.

What do you mean you don't think so? You don't buy that "All's fair in love and war" business, do you?

Of course not. All's fair in love, but when it comes to war, there have to be conventions.

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you're saying, but the thing about grooming is that, because Malakai's single, there's really nothing wrong with it even though it seems kind of sketchy.

Does Abimelech know?

Oh, I'm sure he does.

Then why doesn't he say anything about it?

Because he can't.

What do you mean, he can't?

If he says anything about it, he'll seem like a smothering boyfriend; overbearing and insecure.

It's a catch-22... So I guess he doesn't care?

I'd imagine he does, but he doesn't show it.

That's all that matters.

Now, you're getting it.

So if I see Yasmin with Malakai in a few years, I'll know how this thing went down.

Yep.

Wait a sec, does she know?

Know what?

That she's being groomed?

I have three theories on that.

Haha, I've got time.

Well, my first theory is simply that she doesn't know.

Boring.

I agree. Though I think, knowing Yasmin, it's pretty likely. She's seems like a trusting person and caring friend.

What else?

Another theory is that she suspects that Malakai may be grooming her, but opts to go on as if he isn't. It isn't fair to assume, after all.

But she likes the idea.

Well, that's another part of it. With this she can enjoy the excitement of being groomed without the guilt of allowing it because she refuses to allow herself to assume anything.

I think I could guess what the last theory is.

Go ahead.

Ok. She knows what's going on and allows it. This is as bad as flirting.

No it isn't.

How is it any better than flirting?

Where are the rings?

Don't answer my question with a question.

I'm just saying, where are the rings? This is just some petty drama. The real mess comes with marriage. Anything before that is little leagues.

How would you know?

Hey jackass, my parents got divorced.

Oh yeah, sorry.

It's alright. What I'm saying is that we're just college kids. Eventually Abimelech will have the chance to make his move.

What do you mean?

"All my single ladies, All my single ladies!"

Ah, the ring.

"The One Ring".

What if she says "no"?

Then, we've cut through the bull, haven't we?

I guess we have.